Four years ago yesterday, we buried Daniel at the Maryhill cemetery in Niles. That day, and the day he died, were the worst days of my life. I am hoping and praying they will remain the only "worst days of my life."
Fast forward four years. First to Sunday, September 28, 2014. We had such a fun day. We recently moved to the suburbs and we decided to check out a fall fest in the park nearby. Liam had so much fun! Nolan chilled in the stroller, watching big brother and eating cookies. We tried to get them to try cotton candy (no go). It was truly a wonderful fall day. What I didn't do that day? I didn't even think about that day four years ago. It didn't cross my mind. I was so busy living in the present and truly relishing in how lucky I am, that I forgot about that awful day four years ago.
But I remembered yesterday. Before my kids came home with Ruth, I remembered and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt guilty that I forgot Sunday. I felt guilty that I almost forgot yesterday. I felt guilty that I ever for once thought I wouldn't know happiness again as I look at the blessings all around me, living in my home.
How did I get so lucky? Did that awful time happen so I would truly appreciate the wonderful things in my life? Because I do. Even when I'm at my wit's end with toddler behavior and a teething 1-year-old, I take a step back and try to find the good in everything. And that's why I don't want to forget again that sad time in our lives. Thank you, Daniel.
Here is Liam, playing at the park on Sunday.
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing this. It broke my heart and built it up again. Hugs, mama.
I follow you, click this link and my heart breaks for you and then I realize how much your family means to mine. <3
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