No pics, sketchy updates, behind on my running goal...what's my deal?! If my mother was the Tiger mother, I'd be toast. All I can say is that I have been busy since the new year started. I did win my jury trial last week -- it pretty much consumed me since the beginning of the year, I knew it was coming, I knew it was going to go, and I knew it was going to be a ton of work. Thankfully my work paid off. I love winning and I LOVE not having to write post-trial motions or appeals. Needless to say, because of the jury, I have fallen behind on my running. I should be averaging 90 miles a month, roughly. It's Jan 30 and I'm hoping to crack 40 before Feb 1. Yikes. I signed up for a few races coming up, so hopefully that will bring my mileage up... No Chicago Marathon for me this year, though, it is the weekend of Ailish & Hugh's wedding in Ireland. So I'm going to try to pick another fall marathon, we'll see... I've been scared to travel for a marathon, I know the Chicago route in my sleep and I can get home if need be from any point of the course.... traveling for a marathon makes me anxious... but what better way to see an unfamiliar place?? Running 26.2 miles through whatever new town..... ok I lied, I'd rather see a new town with a drink in my hand or a marathon shopping session. But an actual marathon would definitely make the list!
So it's getting close to what would have been my due date. I have been struggling for a few days. I hoped that I would be pregnant again around this time, thinking it would hurt a little less knowing there's another little one on the way. Well, I'm not and I am ok with it (even though 35 is seriously staring me down...) If it's meant to happen, it will happen, and it's not going to change the fact that every year for the rest of my life, I will have some bit of sadness around this time of year and again towards the end of September. Besides, we are so blessed in our life and I try to focus on how lucky we are -- we both have great jobs, great family support, great friends, our health, the list goes on and on....
But I have my bitter days. For sure.
As soon as I can find the cord, I'll post pictures!
1 comment:
I have been thinking about you constantly. I read this quote in my Bible Study book by a women named Angie Smith. She lost her baby girl. I wanted to pass it on to you b/c it stuck with me.
"If you are a woman who has walked this valley, I want you to know that your child matters. You don't need to "move on" an pretend he or she never happened, nor do you need to feel guilty for the pain you carry.
I will be praying for you in these upcoming days. Daniel will be missed by all that love you and Kieran!
I love you!
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